Sweet baby saw Jesus this morning...

Ezra Matthews died this morning at 2:50 a.m. He didn't win his battle of cancer here on earth, but he won his battle!! He received the most awesome reward ever when he saw Jesus in the wee hours of the morning this morning. He left this earth in the arms of his earthly parents to enter his eternal life in the arms of his REAL Father!

It just breaks my heart though for those he left behind. I can only imagine how his parents must feel...the emptiness of leaving an already dreaded hospital room filled with hope at times and yet in reality they knew this was probably more like it. I mean today was the day he was suppose to start back chemo...and instead it's a day that they had to start planning his celebration of life. But for Ezra, no more chemo...no more pain, no more suffering. I am so happy his mom and dad heard his voice too on Saturday before he left them forever.

(This story continues to bring tears to my eyes.)

We came home from Ansonville yesterday and I had a package in the mail. When I saw it I knew it was the cd a friend had sent me. I opened it and listened to the song she mentioned.

This CD is by the Canadian Tennors...#2 on the cd is Hallelujah...a powerful song sung by famous singers also...it's definitely a Christian song with an awesome tune/rhythm (whatever you call it, I am no musician,) but the song is about King David...you can look it up and probably listen to it on youtube...and the awesome thing about King David is that he sinned...lusted over a married woman/committed adultery/got a woman pregnant out of wedlock/and even killed a man/then married this now widow that he got pregnant...and you know, David was chosen by God and he was a very important man in the bible...and yet, he had a son with Bathsheba out of wedlock...God frowned on this and took him away from them...he died of an illness...David wept and sort of moped around/fasted before he died, I'm sure pleading for his life...God took him from David. Unexpectedly once David heard of his son's passing, instead of losing himself in the midst of losing a son, he brushed himself off and went to the house of the Lord and worshiped because he could not bring his son back...he was dead...what an incredible testimony...and then later on he and Bathsheba bore another son, Solomon...pretty cool story...2Samuel 11-12. Worth the read!

Anyway, David was a sinner...God loved him and still David knew suffering in a way I hope I never have to find out...(David probably knew a lot of suffering) but David was not too good for God to allow him to feel the pain of losing a child or suffering. Neither am I...I just hope it doesn't happen to me...I'd choose a different suffering...I'm afraid that type would leave me paralyzed, emotionally especially.

Everyone lives through so many different types of suffering...financial, death, sickness, emotional, physical abuse, addictions, and on...and the thing of it is that we have to in order to carry out God's plan..and it is so that we all have different testimonies to share...and we all affect God's ultimate plan for the world and the people living in it. Through our sufferings and celebrations, we all affect one another in one way or the other...and it is how we live through these times that we affect one another. David, I believe set a good Godly example of suffering through the loss of his son...he did this type well. I believe he brought glory to God's name.

Thinking about Ezra's death brings another thought to mind...this suffering and what it would be like. I believe that suffering the death of a child would be hell...that's what I think hell would feel like only multiplied by 100 and never let up. Not one of God's creation deserves that...not even the murderer I saw on tv today who has gotten the death sentence (that's a whole other topic of which I won't discuss on here.) Because I do believe in God's creation of man...I believe that we all know good, and it's our choice...at least at some point in our lives it was/is our choice.

I want everyone to now Jesus so that no one has to ever experience that pain. I hope to never know what hell feels like here on earth because if I ever do, it means I've lost a child. I can honestly not think of a worse thing.

I look at the Matthews, they seem very successful, I believe the dad is some sort of computer guy...they seem to have nice things, technology, pool, they live in Tampa, I can't imagine that is a cheap place to live that comfortably...but I have something they don't...I have three beautiful children. And they will be scarred by the death of two children...I can't imagine that...I can't envy their material things.

But because of their story, I realize that. I realize what is important in life. I realize what is important for real. When I look at people in general...I don't want to look at what they have or don't have...I don't want to look at they way they act or don't act...I don't want to think about where they live or don't live...I don't want to think about what they drive or don't drive...I don't want to think about their looks/cleanliness/uncleanliness/their amount of exercise or lack of...I want to look at them for the people who they are...for the people that God has created them to be...I want to look deeper than any thing superficial. I want to know that they are my brother and/or sister in Christ...we have the same FATHER!

I was just telling my sister-in-law this weekend how important family is to me. I've sort of had my "ups and downs" with friends throughout my life, but my sister is my sister no matter what ever happens...we will forever have the same blood running through our veins...same goes for my in-laws and my nieces and nephews, and our parents...But hey...wait a minute...I want to take it back...let me take it back, because we all have been made by the same hands! But sort of here on earth I will keep my family the closest and I will forever take care of them...but let me not forget who we all belong to!! and that is not my mom and dad or my in-laws...it is God our Father!!

So, yes, sweet Ezra is no longer suffering, he got to see our Father this morning! How sweet! I'll finish on that note!