Friends...

Gosh, I have been finding out lately how weird I am. Not only me, but my husband too. It's funny, neither of us have a lot of close friends...I mean, we have friends, but as far as a best friend, we don't have one...except for one another of course. Preston really is my absolute BEST friend in the entire world. That is pretty sweet to say it, mean, and know it.

My husband is my BEST friend! Pretty stinkin' sweet!

But he and I both feel that no one really wants to be our friends. Our close friend, that is. Those who we think would be really true friends, live far away and those who we have been friends w/ our whole life, just don't seem that real. We get frustrated easily by people who seem one way and act another. We don't do fake. We don't do people who want to be someone who they are...we want real people in our lives. People living out life the way we are. Trying to be who God wants them to be...at least I'm speaking for myself for sure. Preston, I'm pretty positive is on the same page as me.

I have struggled my whole entire life w/ this "friend journey." You'd think I would have learned something by now. Something as to how to be a friend, how to make a friend, how to KEEP a friend. But no, I continue today in my 30's on how to be a friend, how to make a friend, and how to keep a friend. It's funny, I often find that people change and I stay the same. The same ol' me.

But I must do something to people to make them frustrated w/ me so easily. Or is it in my head? Maybe I don't frustrate them, and what it is, is that I have nothing except for myself to give them. I'm not fake, I don't conform easily or at all, I am me! What you see, is exactly what you get...there's very little hidden behind the scenes.

Anyway, maybe one day, I'll get the picture. I'll figure how to be a friend, how to make a friend, and how to keep a friend. Or maybe others will decide that I'm ok, just the way I am.

I am a strange person. My whole life, I have done exactly what I feel is right. I have never easily conformed to others. I have lived my life the way that I wanted to, mostly, maybe not all the time, but mostly, living my life the way I feel God desires for me. I try hard to follow His will...and I have to say that has been my number one influence...which is the best influence to have...and maybe that is what has made me such a strange bird. I don't know.

What I do know, is that I am ready for some REAL friends. People who are exactly what you see is what you get!! People who want to be my friend because they love my heart!...and that is it!