I need to open my eyes...see what's in front of me!

I have been out of touch with blogging for a while...I'm not really good at sticking to anything...I'm not a scheduled person and yet I also don't do well with change...how that works I'm not sure, but it's the truth. I like to be on a schedule, yet I do nothing by a schedule and when change occurs, I'm really screwed up. But anyway, that's not what I am here today to talk about.

I really want to mention how stinkin' blessed I am. I have been reading a blog about a little guy named Ezra Matthews...bless his sweet little heart. He has been struggling with cancer for a year now, he turned 2 this past August...he's the age of my sweet little Will and Ruby. At the start of his chemo his mom and dad found out they were pregnant and then found out a month later they were pregnant with twins...she delivered at 26 weeks...two boys...one died a week later and the other remained in the hospital for 191 days with complication. They were suppose to be like me...three sweet kiddos...

What makes me so special? Why do I have three beautiful and healthy children when someone else is off suffering like this? Now, don't get me wrong...I'm certainly not saying why me or why not me in a way that I am asking for it...or anything of the such...I wouldn't hope this for my worse enemy...it only makes me realize that they are no different than we are and I NEED to see my blessings...the ones that are right in front of me!! The ones that I see every single day. Because the Matthews don't get to see what I see or hear the sweet laughter, hugs and kisses, or crazy knock down drag out fights. That will never be the reality of their lives. They will always have this chapter of their life. God, I pray that you will bless them in a way that only you can do...a sweet sweet blessing...one so sweet that I may envy and yet they deserve...bless them!!!

I need to open my eyes to see what is right in front of me! I see my babies, but I want to see them like I have never experienced. I want to see them special every single day and recognize my blessing. I want to see them like God sees them. That is how I want to see them...that is how they deserve to be seen. All three of my sweet babies are such sweet blessings and have blessed our lives in their own ways. I want to be the mom that God has intended for me to be...I want to follow in His will! God help me to do that!